waiting for daisy

while i know that most readers of my blog have had their children - either 41 years ago - if you are mommydearest 24 or july of 2005 if you are the author of a lovely blog. so at this point - you are either highly sympathetic to me - or just think that i am crazy.

for the record - i am not crazy - it is my DH that is on this quest for a biological child and for those of you who spend time with us - you know that he is "such a nice guy" that it is hard to say no sometimes.

but anyway - i finished a book a couple of weeks ago called "waiting for daisy" by peggy orenstein. even if you are done with kids - i recommend reading it - it speaks volume to my experience to date and i was so moved.

i am about to send it off to a friend - but wanted to memorialize the chapter that resonated for me . . here goes:

"Clomid was my gateway drug: the one you take because, "Why not - everyone's doing it." Just five tiny pills. They'll give you a boost, maybe take you where you need to go. It's true, some women can stop there. For others, Clomid becomes infertility's version of Reefer Madness. First you smoke a little grass, then you're selling your body on a street corner for crack. First you pop a little Clomid, suddenly you're taking out a second mortgage for another round of in vitro fertilization (IVF). You've become hope's bitch, willing to destroy your career, your marriage, your self-respect for another taste of its seductive high. Here are your eggs. Here are your eggs on Clomid. Get the picture?"


well, i am not the one who wanted to destroy my career, my marriage or my self-respect - but i can tell you it is a slippery slope for sure . . .