The Food Police

He is killing me! When I started dating SS (secret squirrel) - his 3 food groups were chips, soda and apple crisp. He was on a first name basis with the wait staff at every rib and fry joint in the greater metropolitan area. Flash forward to this evening - when he told me he was making hamburgers on the grill and baked potatoes for dinner and I asked for baked beans as well. He stopped in his tracks and said "Two starches . . . are you sure?" People - I almost snorted water through my nose. I explained that beans are protein - although there is some sugar in the baked beans . . so he agreed that we could have them.

Why you may ask is he now the food police? Two words - gestational diabetes. He is just trying to make sure that I am eating healthy - so we avoid any health complications. Yes - this is adorable and supportive - but it is cracking me up . . .

Pre-pregnancy he was the alcohol police - now he is the food and alcohol police . . can't wait till he becomes the maternity fashion police.

The Buzz

In the land of material wants - today was a good day. Secret Squirrel's dream has come true - DirectTV in 3 rooms and his 40 inch HD TV is here and up and running. Just for good measure - I also ordered him his "Heavenly Bed" and that is being delivered today between 5-9 p.m. So tonight - we will spend our first night in the "new" house - on a real bed - instead of the Aerobed - which is fine for me - but causes him much grief.

The dogs got into a knock down drag out fight today and the ruler of the roost managed to sink his teeth into secret squirrel's leg - I tried to explain the concept of darwinsim to everyone - but they didn't listen. Ruler of the Roost will die trying to kill his rival - he just keeps forgetting that he weighs 9 pounds and she weighs 40 pounds. This is insane - but I am not stressed about it - it is not my problem. Part of my lay back and float estilo.

A new experience today - I had the "What to Expect When You Are Expecting" book on the floor - and when the TV installation team arrived - one of the guys said "When is your baby due?" You could have knocked me over with a feather - that was the first time a stranger asked the question . . . . it was kinda cool.

I didn't get a nap today - so I better go rest while I wait for the Heavenly Bed!

Poor Secret Squirrel

The man needs a shout out or at least a gold star for spending his waking hours catering to his pregnant wife. Yes - while it is technically "his job" - he is exceeding expectations - which in corporate speak means a bigger bonus.

I have quasi morning sickness - that can last into the afternoon/evening. It is not ridiculous - but it makes eating a little hard - since I seem to only like pepperoni pizza and salad. I am also ravenous every few hours - so twice today - we had to stop in the middle of errands - to get me lunch and then dinner. No worries - not eating for 2 - but just making sure to get plenty of protein and fruit - to give "little magic" the opportunity to be a rocket scientist or win American Idol.

I have decided to call the baby "little magic" - secret squirrel is cringing - he thought Baby D sounded a little less ghetto fabulous. I just keep thinking about the movie Coming to America - where there is a scene that someone says "Dance Little Magic - Dance"

I am sure this will all change in the coming months - but it is cracking me up now.

We saw the heartbeat on Friday - it was awesome.

Blogging While Pregnant

I am resisting the urge to report on every little twitch or any other bodily change that has me in hysterics - blubbering to my Mommy or sobbing to Secret Squirrel (new name for DH). Suffice to say the hormones are kicking and I am fully embracing my hormonal rollercoaster ride . . . Is there a T-shirt that says "Be Nice to me - I am newly pregnant and while you don't know it I do - so if you are mean - I will cry?" Maybe not.

Here is a new website to check out - Hot Ghetto Mess - I read about it in The Washington Post on Sunday and had to share. I swear that some of you have sent me pictures from this before . . this comes under the category - Sad But True.

My latest internal debate is what to do about coloring my hair? I got WAY highlighted in early June - so I am about to look a little crazy with dark roots and golden ends. I know that debalicious (shout out to my bv posse) can give me some tips on this - I will wait to hear from you. I would also see what the authoress of a very lovely blog has to say - but she is busy chillin with her gang in wine country.

So here I sit - waiting for my peeps to give me feedback on hair color - which by the way - secret squirrel thinks is courtesy of the sun. gotta love him

Just Tired

238 more days of being tired - I can dig it. I swear I need a nap everyday after work and since I am on the wagon and eating healthy - I think I am actually losing weight. I am still eating the additional protein and drinking tons of water . . . and dreaming of leather maternity pants to wear with my mink coat!

Here's a new one from my travels . . .

As promised - I am searching the internet long and far for free kitsch . . . this one is funny - but not as cute as the Lilly Pie ticker.

St. Patrick's Day

God willing and the crick don't rise - according to the "due date wheel" Baby D's arrival date is March 17, 2008. Notice that I said "Baby D" and not "The Babies D". We had our first ultrasound this afternoon and it showed one healthy pregnancy sac. According to the doctor - it is too early to see a heartbeat - so we are going back next Friday.

I must admit that I was quite relieved to see the sac - I had been experiencing a little paranoia - that I was having a tubal pregnancy or that this was all a lab mix-up.

I am officially BANNED from internet research - other than baby furnishings, maternity clothes or Baby Center. I am now officially in the "lay back and float" stage of my pregnancy.

I think I will go take another nap . . . .

peace . . .

Happy Trails To Me . . .

Not!

I am headed to The Mothership (Corporate HQ) tomorrow for a Department Meeting that lasts until Friday.

I will actually return home on Thursday - as I have another meeting here that I cannot miss.

I am not looking forward to this trip - because it means that a random nurse at employee health services is going to be giving me that big ole booty shot for 3 days and then I have to find someone else to give it to me on Thursday - because DH is going to be on business travel.

Yes - lots of women give the shots to themselves when their husbands travel or when they are on the road - but that is not me! I can do a SubQ shot (one in the tummy) but the booty shot with that ginormous needle is a total no go.

I also have a trip the first week in August where I have to do these shots - that one is not at The Mothership - so I have to figure out if I can hire a nurse or find a walk-in clinic where I can take my prescription and my stash.

Although - since this is hardly a narcotic that I am injecting - who would do this sh-t for sport?

So - The Divine Miss K will be on hiatus for " all intensive purposes" until Thursday - so you have to get your jollies elsewhere - or call me on the celly-cell.

Just Sharing . .

I sent this to a few people a few weeks ago - but decided to share it with the rest of the gang tonight.

According to ObamaMama - I should save this picture for when my teenage daughter(s) tell me that they hate me . . .

This is what DH chases me around the kitchen with nightly - as you all know how much I love needles.

That is a 2 inch needle . . .and yes it is the size of a bobby pin.

But DH says I am a warrior and I appreciate that . .

Kitchsy

So we all know that I totally got into the whole wedding thing - so of course I will find every kitchsy thing pregnancy related and try it out.

But unlike The Event of the Season - my kitchsiness this time will be of the budget variety. Kids cost money - so I need to save the cash to buy them flawless clothes . . or uh i mean send them to college.

Allow me to introduce the latest in my quest for kitchsy . . the "Expecting A Baby Ticker". This bad boy calculates your pregnancy by the day. It is FREE and you can adjust it as necessary. You can even add text if you choose - I decided not to at this juncture - I want to wait until we hear a heartbeat and get a real due date estimate from the doctor. So this is just a sample with my back of the envelope guess of when "we" are due.



You can check this out as well as a bunch of other tickers at Lilypie.com.

Yes - you can start worrying about me now.

Today Was A Good Day

My initial plan was to use the lyrics to the Ice Cube song -Today Was A Good Day" to express my feelings - then I got online and looked the lyrics up. Let's just say that since I am not trying to objectify women and/or celebrate the N-word - I will decline to use those particular lyrics.

So I will just keep it simple. We had a BFP today - A BIG FAT POSITIVE - pregnancy test. This is so great - now we haven't passed all the other early pregnancy hurdles - but we had a solid beta HCG test which is the first milestone in the first trimester journey.

Two more blood draws next week - followed by an ultrasound to check for the "pregnancy sac" and then an ultrasound at 7 weeks to listen to the heartbeat.

What a glorious day - thank you all for your positive vibes - please keep us in your continued prayers. We both feel very blessed and your support is incredible!

Nothing Pithy Today - Just The Facts

Closing in on the infamous "Beta" - will know by COB on Thursday whether I am 4 weeks pregnant or not.

Assuming we get a BFP (big fat positive) on Thursday - then I am on a new roller coaster for about a month - with additional blood tests and ultrasounds to make sure pregnancy is viable.

What can I say - this has been an awesome experience. I have done things that I never thought I was capable of - 2 inch needles nightly in my butt, blood draws with incredible regularity and taking such a huge gamble - when I am so very risk adverse.

But here is the best part - the love and support I have gotten from many of you. The daily calls from MD24, the presents sent to help me pass the time in the 2ww, the calls from friends across the country - it has been wonderful.

When DH and I started down the infertility yellow brick road - we were in the "no tell" camp. But I quickly moved it into the blogosphere - thinking that it was my place to share - but I have realized it is also a way to get the kind of support I referenced above. Even if you don't think you need it - you do.

I am cautiously optimistic about a BFP on Thursday - but you all know I have my contingency plan in place - though I may skip the 3 bottles of champagne. I think I like myself better without a lot of alcohol in my system - more energy and a clearer head! I will save the champagne for a celebration . . .

Contingency Planning

Most of you know that DH and I are strong believers in couples counseling. Or at least I am and he willing went along and now he loves it! At any rate, one of tools we have learned in counseling that is central to our marriage is the art of contigency planning. I don't know if everyone needs to do - but I am a freak about it. Despite my attemps to let go - I have found that if I have a plan - I am better able to face potentially negative situations - because I have a back up plan. I am sure this has lots to do with my control issues - but be that as it may - it is what I do.

So with that introduction - allow me to lay out the contingency plan that I have drafted and DH agrees to in principle.

BACKGROUND

Next week is the pregnancy test - also known in infertility speak as 'the beta'. It is a simple blood test and when the results come back - you will know whether or not you are pregnant. If you are - then you have a series of tests over the next week to make sure that your beta continues to rise. If is doesn't - then it is likely you have what is known as a chemical pregnancy. For "normal" women - you would probably never even know that you are pregnant - for those of us who are "fertility challenged" - we will know every minute detail.

CONTINGENCY PLAN

Negative Beta:

1. Call Moonlight Kennels order Yorkie Puppy - who will be named Henry.

2. Go to 7-11 and get a Super Double Big Gulp Of Diet Pepsi for immediate consumption.

3. Get 3 bottles of Veuve Cliquot to drown my sorrows over the 3 days that I am in mourning.

4. Contact Gladney Center for Adoption to begin process for International Adoptions.

5. Continue to fantasize about life next Spring when we have our baby/babies at home.

6. Lose the post-wedding/infertility fat - so that when I am pushing my gorgeous baby down the block and people tell me I look like a Supermodel - I will smile.



Positive Beta:

1. Call Moonlight Kennels order Yorkie Puppy - who will be named Henry.

2. Drink 96 ounces of water and pat self on back for having done that for two weeks.

3. Continue nightly intramuscular shots with 2 inch needle in the a** for another 6-8 weeks.

4. Continue not to lift anything over 10 pounds until further notice.

5. Continue to fantasize about life next Spring when we have our baby/babies at home.


So there you have it - contigency planning in a nutshell!

From Vegas to Chicago via a Hummer . .

Thinking today about my posse - a group of incredible women - who have been on my side for more years than we like to think about. Each of us is very different - by loyalty and unconditional love are the cornerstones of our relationships. When I saw the quote below - it made me think of each of them - so who read the blog and some who don't. But at the end of the day - these women have stood by me, some for over 20 years - and not judged.

I found this quote on a another cool woman's blog - unfortunately - I have not figured out yet how to hyperlink between blogs AND I can't remember which blog I found it on . . . but at any rate here it is . . .

"But Oh! The blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearless on any subject, with whom one's deepest as well as one's most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely. Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away."

Dinah Maria Mulock Craik, "A Life for a Life", 1866

Bringing S*xy Back

I have spent the past 6 days surfing the internet and checking out other people's blogs. Well - it is time for me to "P*mp My Bl*g". It will be a lengthy project - but I am going to learn how to post video and more pictures . . .

Stay Tuned!

Harry & Winston

Perhaps it is cabin fever or perhaps I have just lost my mind. I have been talking about adding another yorkie to the family - I have even located the breeder and kennel. Last night - I was thinking I should get 2 new yorkies and call them Harry & Winston. Have I lost my mind? I think so.

On an unrelated note - I think I am now officially caught up on sleep. I have been going to bed around midnight and waking up refreshed at 7:30 every morning. I have not had any caffeine either - so that is another plus. No caffeine, no alcohol . . . I don't know how my body is functioning. It must be the sugar - that is still on the DH sanctioned list of food stuff.

This is a gentle reminder to all you women who wish you had a wonderful DH like mine - there are definitely some "interesting" control issues in our relationship. He gives me no grief about what I eat, drink or say - unless we are trying to have a baby. Once that happens - he gives new meaning to the idea of the food and beverage police. Last month my cousin got married - he would not let me go to the bar to get my own diet coke - I think he thought I was going to ask for a shot of rum. Then when I did go to the bar alone - I felt 2 sets of eyes piercing into my back - it was him and MommyDearest24.

Welcome to my life . .