Has it been a week?

 

I was doing so well with the blogging everyday - then I got distracted by my life.  I want to get back on target - but of course with holiday plans - not sure that is realistic.

You would think that being snowed in meant that I would have plenty of time to blog, think big thoughts, paint my nails and such. But no it has been a crazy few days. With almost 2 feet of snow -the Federal Government shut down yesterday - which meant my office was closed.  I have to admit that I took my first shower in 3 days this morning - I have enjoyed being a slob in a jammy suit.

No holiday cards being sent by us this year - be on the look out for a surprise early next year.  I am starting a new tradition - you'll see. 

Still reading Shimelle's prompts - but realized that this year was more like a test drive for the December Daily idea - while it is not a lot of work per se - you need to know what it is to fully grasp what it entails and how to make it work.  Luckily - I have more than enough paper crafting and scrapbook supplies to do the project in 2010 - so I am not sorry that the book won't see prime time this year.

Gotta go - I hear the divine little q stirring.

where to start . .

 My Mom flew to California yesterday - you see we are at a crossroads. My 91 year old grandmother is not doing well - she is tired, her body is failing and she is close to the end of her life.  Even typing this is odd - as my grandmother and I are incredibly close.  I barely remember my life without her - we lived in New Jersey with her when I was a little girl and she has been one of the constants in my life.  I was thinking today that she was 48 when I was born 5 years older than I am today. That probably explains why we are close - in this day and age - she could be my mother.  She was my brownie troop leader at Ft. Monmouth, she taught 6th grade for a number of years and she made me laugh. She is incredibly stylish and as smart as a whip - she is also incredibly sarcastic and very witty. Some people say we look alike - I am flattered.  She is a woman who until recently got her hair and nails done weekly - that is what I am talking about!  I am not sure how much longer I will be able to talk about her in the present tense - but I am at peace knowing that when she passes on - she will join my grandfather who she misses greatly and her sisters - in heaven - where they will continue to look down and make sure that we are all okay.

all is calm . .

i have had almost 90 minutes of solitude. granted it is 7:15 in the morning on sunday . . but the lesson is that if i get up before everyone else - i can do 2 loads of close, surf the internet, sync my iPod, drink a forbidden diet pepsi or two and think about how much i love the morning.  impossible to do this on a weekday - but i should try it.  the idea of waking up at 5:00 am - just to have some me time seems bizarre - but it must be the norm for women who want to be sane and are not night owls.  regardless - it has been a a GREAT 90 minutes and I here the people stirring upstairs . . 

bye bye santa

So much for the photo with Santa for the divine little q's memory book.  She has been saying "Santa" as in Hi Santa and Bye Bye Santa for the past couple of days.  She was even willing to wave at this Santa from a distance - but when it was time for our photo - well see above.  Having a child is so humbling for those of us who are control freaks.  Perfect outfit, well rested - I can visualize the PERFECT holiday shot - so this is what I get.  Ah the benefits of the past 20 months though - I just smiled and there are a lot of shots like this which will make it into the scrapbook - instead of the fantasy photo of my little girl tugging on Santa's beard.  Maybe next year . . .

ah brr day day

This morning I lit the tree before I brought the divine little q downstairs.  As we came down - she looked at the tree and said " ah brr day day". Translation from 21 month old speak = Happy Birthday. Whenever she sees lights or shiny objects - she immediately thinks birthday.  I love the innocence of a child and the more I think about it - we really are celebrating the birth of Christ - so instead of a cake with candles - he gets a tree. How cool is that?

Back in town . .

Back from a quick trip to Delaware for a 24 hour scrap-vacation with my crafty girlfriend Liz.

If we were fellas - I would say Liz is my road dawg - we like to travel around the country for scrapbooking weekends and we call each other from the aisles of Michaels, A.C. Moore and JoAnn's if there is a good sale.  One of  the highlights of last Spring was our trip to Hot-Lanta for a scrapping weekend at The Crowne Plaza Ravinia.  It was a blast.  So here is a shout out to Liz.

Starting tomorrow - back to my regularly scheduled programming of Journal Your Christmas - but tonight we are decorating the tree and I am catching up on Gossip Girl.

Oh yeah- one more thing - check out my boy Matthew who is dropping some serious thoughts about Tiger and his "issue".

On The Road

The Perfect Christmas

My perfect Christmas is not hard to imagine, but it is not an exercise I have ever tried before.  I definitely remember Christmas at my grandparents house in New Jersey when I was little and those memories are my favorite.  If I can recreate that feeling for my family - I would be so happy.  So with the NJ Christmas in mind and a willingness to add my own touch - here is my perfect Christmas:

During the week leading up to Christmas - we would make divinity fudge, chocolate fudge with walnuts and decorate sugar cookies.  We would also make Reindeer Food - so that the divine little q can sprinkle it on the grass in front of our house - so that the reindeer have something to eat while they are waiting for Santa to deliver her gifts. On Christmas Eve - we would deliver assorted cookies and fudge on trays to the people we love in our neighborhood and a few friends that require a car trip.  My grandma and I used to do that and it is one of my favorite holiday memories.  A new tradition that I want to start in our family is that on Christmas Eve - we all get new pajamas - maybe even matching ones! I then want to take a family portrait in our jammy suits in front of the tree ( thank goodness for a tripod and a timer on the camera). We will leave cookies and milk for Santa on a special plate and I purchased an ornate key to hang on the front door for Santa (see photo above) since we don't have a fireplace in this house.  Once miss q goes to bed, DH and I will set up a few gifts that Santa will leave (they have to be unwrapped and ready to use immediately) and then we will take a bite of the cookie - drink the milk and leave a thank you note! On Christmas morning - I want us to wake up at the crack of dawn - to drink hot chocolate and open presents.  I don't believe in sleeping in on Christmas morning - that just seems wrong.  Once the gifts have been opened - we'll have a nice family breakfast, get dressed and go to Mass.

Dear Santa

I remember writing to Santa when I was a little girl.  I can see the lined notebook paper supplied by my grandmother and remember sitting at the table trying to get it just right.  Ah the innocence of a child - I wish I still had that today.  Really,  I wish I still had copies of those letters - they are a part of my history and one I'd love to share with my daughter.  I know that when the divine little q starts writing letters to Santa - I will be saving those letters so that when she is 43 - she will look back at them and smile.

But for today, I am going to write a new letter to Santa - one that might make me look back and smile in a month or two . . and one that I am sure q will enjoy one day.

so here goes:

Dear Santa,

Fair to say I have been a little naughty and a little nice. Not saying that I need coal in my stocking but not thinking that you should deliver the Volvo XC90 on Christmas morning with a bow either.  How about we meet in the middle? I'd like some new perfume - Serge Lutens Daktura Noir if you can get it.  I'd also like a charcoal grey turtleneck and a black turtle neck.  I am good on jewelry, books, clothes, shoes and underwear.  I have decided to lay low on scrapbooking supplies - so no need to raid Michael's, A.C. Moore or Hobby Lobby on my behalf.  But any chance you can work with the man upstairs to get a Sonic in my neighborhood?  A girl needs a Route 44 Cherry Limeade to start her day right - you know. I feel compelled to ask for world peace - because it seems like the right thing to ask for - but we both know that there are a whole lot of other folks we need to engage in that process.  So whatever you can make happen on that front - would appreciate it.  Do you really want cookies and milk the night of the 24th? Or would you prefer a hot toddy?  I can even swing some nice champagne - again - say the word. I hate to be greedy - but I wouldn't mind another baby or two. Motherhood is the best thing I have EVER done and the chance for one more bite at the apple would be appreciated.  I am flexible - a trip to Ethiopia or the Fertility clinic is fine by me.  See - not too heavy a lift - I think you and your workshop can help me out - thank you in advance.

Love, 

Miss K

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas - sort of.

While I love snow at Christmas, but because I grew up in Southern California, it was not a routine occurrence - in fact I think it snowed once in Los Angeles (not on Christmas) and folks thought armaggedon was about to happen. 

Somewhere, I have a picture of me on Christmas Day about 25 years ago sitting on the couch in my Mom's living room. You can see out the window behind me the sun shining and a palm tree blowing in the wind.  I love that photo.  Lack of snow did not make it less " Christmasy" but since I moved East "permanently" some 15 years ago - I have become addicted to the idea of the change of seasons and frankly get disappointed if there is no snow on Christmas Day.  

Mind you, I don't drive in snow and I am always terrified about slipping and falling on the ice - so my great affection for snow just means that I think it is pretty.

This year we are headed to Colorado for Christmas - so I will definitely be getting my snow - too bad that the divine little q is too young to learn to make snow angels.  I used to make them in NJ at my grandparents house and thought they were so cool. 

A shout out of thanks to Shimelle  for suggesting some great prompts for holiday memories - I never would have thought about the weather and Christmas. Yet it makes me smile thinking about all the places I have spent Christmas and whether or not there was snow . . . or at least cold weather!

Step Two - The Christmas Tree

For the past 6 years - since DH and I started dating back in 2003 - we have purchased our tree from the same vendor in the same location.  The local Kiwanis Club in our old neighborhood sets up a trailer and sells trees to raise money for their programs.  While it is not the cheapest tree in town and it is no longer even the closest tree lot in our neighborhood - this is one of the traditions that we have established.  Last year - I decided to make a note about the height and type of tree we like/want that will fit in our living room - I was so proud of myself.  You can see our beautiful fraser fir  tied to the roof of our car. Funny how it looks so small - when it is 7 feet tall!

We actually talked about heading out to a Christmas Tree Farm this year, but when it came to decision time,  we decided to wait on that for a couple of years when it will actually mean something to the divine little q.

When I was growing up we would head to the railroad tracks in downtown LA to get our tree.  I used to think that was the coolest thing.  That was the tradition of my uncle's family and we happily followed that tradition and made it part of our own.  I wonder if I had stayed in Southern California if that tradition would still be a part of my December?

Journal Your Christmas

One of the hardest things for me in recent years has been figuring out how to make it all work - "all" meaning my marriage, my professional life, motherhood and then finding time for me.  I have a wonderful supportive husband who would give me the world if he could - but it is hard to ask for the world if you don't know what it is.  One of the things that we have identified that I love to do and that makes me happy is  scrapbooking, paper crafting and any other creative pursuit that I can test out.  

So for this month - in pursuit of what makes me happy - I am participating in an online workshop called Journal Your Christmas. It starts today and goes through January 6th.  I have not decided whether I am going to blog it,  written journal it or craft it - but I am just happy that I am doing it.

Today's prompt is to write your manifesto - the "why" that you joined the workshop.  I am going to blog mine - with soft plans to go back and create a layout later.

My Manifesto

Starting today, December 1, 2009, I will keep a Christmas Journal.  In it I will capture the holiday traditions that my family honors - both those that we brought as individuals to our marriage and those that we are creating in the family we created in 2005.  I will also use this journal to remind me how much I love Christmas - selecting and decorating our tree, getting the ornaments out of storage and remembering the stories of how they arrived in our home and this year in particular - celebrating the joy of the lights, glitter and love through the eyes of our child.  And last but not least, remembering that we are celebrating the birth of Jesus - a gift more precious than a pot of gold.

So there you have it - day one of Journal Your Christmas - how cool is this?

My Name is Miss K and I Have A Problem

I am addicted to scrapbooking and crafting supplies.  There I said it.  Above is a photo from this time last year.  Not much has changed - while my stash is better organized now - i have double the amount of supplies.  2009 has been the year of hoarding dangerously.

Seriously, I could invite 100 -200 people to my house today and host a "make a few layouts" event and they would each leave with 5 pages completed.  The only thing anyone would need to bring is their photos and I probably have a few extra 100 prints sitting around that they could use anyway.

Alas, I need to stay out of craft stores, off the internet sites and away from all vendors when I attend crops in 2010.  I am SERIOUSLY thinking about making this my ONLY resolution for 2010.

Some people try to stop drinking, some people want to lose weight - I just want to use up my scrapbooking stash in 2010 - so my family can reclaim a lot of floor space and I can shop with abandon in 2011. Does the shop with abandon thing defeat the purpose of crafting rehab?

what do you think? it all sounds reasonable to me.

so not a web designer

calgon take me away! simply tried to add a "badge" for a new favorite and i have completely altered the layout of my gadgets. i have tried everything to get the gadgets back on the column on the right - i am very annoyed in this moment.

christmas . . . first things first

let's start with the advent calendar.

i looked high and wide for an advent calendar that i would love. found this one last year at gump's online. it is a little larger than my postage stamp house can handle - so it will be living on the kiddie table for the next month. location will be great once my daughter figures out that she gets to open a door each day. luckily she is still so young - that i don't have to worry about 24 little toys or candies to fit in the drawers. that promises to be a ROYAL pain in coming years.

i love the beginning of this season - i can feel the creativity in the air during the holidays. my favorite gifts are always those that are handmade - they mean so much more to me. my friend bekki reminds me that eventually alot of the stuff we buy is going to end up in a landfill anyway - so i keep that in mind these days when i trend towards wanting another "new something" that i don't really need.

what are your favorite gifts?

choices part 2

Below is an excellent post from one of my favorite creative women. Tracks nicely with my earlier post about choices.5 Reasons We Don't Have TV Posted using ShareThis

choices

sometimes i am so overwhelmed by the choices at my disposal - it is almost paralyzing. when i get those few precious minutes of time - time that is mine and all mine - what to do. scrapbook, blog, read the washington post, catch up on "my shows" on the dvr or work on my photography skills. or call a friend, call my mom or write a letter. i want to do all those things but i can't decide where to start - so often i choose the path of least resistance. i watch the dvr and answer emails. i am beginning to realize that "my shows" on the dvr are the least fufilling of all my choices - so i think it may be time to re-work my plans - say goodbye to a couple of the sleepers that i tape just because i can and start to use my limited time more wisely.

DC Baby . . .

proof positive that my daughter knows how to represent. her adidas sweatsuit and ben's chili bowl. what else is there for a day out with dada? next week - breakfast at tiffany's with mama.

thankful

even though somedays i tend to forget - i have much for which i should be and am thankful. first . . . my beautiful 20 month old daughter - who is exhausting me these days as she comes into her own and is testing her boundaries with incredible regularity. my husband - who at his core is a good and decent human being. my parents - who have done an incredible job of supporting me over the years - each in their own way. my sister-friends - who allow me to forget somedays that i am an only child. and god - who i know is carrying me through this whole journey - because clearly i would not be here but for his grace.

victory dance with football spike . .

how you like me now? ah - yeah! i did it! i did it! now i just need to start blogging with regularity again. just have to remember not to complain too much about todd, parents or friends - because they might check this blog out. do i need to start a second secret blog where i don't use pink paint? :)

digital scrapbooking

okay - so i am trying to reconnect with my creative side. so i decided to return to my online photoshop elements class (gotta love jessica sprague) and completed lesson one. let me see if i can remember how to add a photo to this post.

checking in again . .

honestly - i want to blog everyday - but then my life gets in the way. all is good in the hood. i got no complaints. somedays i wish i could work part time but that is probably the dilemma of all working mommies. i feel like i need one day to go the grocery store and think big thoughts . . . the divine miss q has entered the terrible twos about 6 months too early . . . but we drink organic milk! :)

you know you are an adult . . .

when you and your husband take a day off of work for "date day" and a trip to costco, lowe's and the grocery store makes you giddy. we had big plans for lunch and a movie - but realized that we could only accomplish so much in time to come home and meet the tree stump removal crew - that we opted for errands and we are both contented. this is my life and i love it - really.

the divine miss q is letting me know that she understands everything that is said and is capable of making her own decisions. the conversations go a little like this - question: can mommy change your diaper? answer: no. question: can mommy help you with that? answer: yes or vigorous head shake to signify yes. don't let mommy try to put her hand on the yogurt container to help steady it - that results in a nice push of mommy's hand off the yogurt container.

cosmic payback for sure - but i am loving every minute of it. i think i even have DH on board for baby number 2 . . . details to follow.

time out

i really think i need a time out. the kind that could last a few days or even a week.  my house is a disaster - which feels pretty representative of my life these days.  ripping and running to work full time, be a good mom and wife and then try to find a minute for me.  i envy my friends who stay home with their children - but i know that staying home brings its own challenges.  i want to custom design a life that will work for me - a balance of work and at home time.  i need a manual - usually i can find my answer on pg. 36 . . . can someone send me a link?

beginner or re-beginner

this is the name of the running program in which i am participating.  it is also the name of where i find myself in life. a new job by definition makes you a re-beginner.  i have worked before and i have worked well - but now it is all brand new.  sure - i have an impressive title - but that fragile feeling of being the one isn't sure about the protocol for decisions, or whether or not to ask permission or seek forgiveness - who won't leave at 4:55 - just in case someone needs me at 4:59 - those are the things that creep into my psyche and give me that re-beginner feeling.  i long for the day when i can feel secure in my decisions again, when i will speak with the authority of someone who " has been doing this for years" and when at 3:15 p.m. on a friday - i will say "peace out" and pick up the divine miss q from daycare early.  change and transition are difficult for me - i know it and i understand what is happening in my psyche now - but it doesn't mean i have to like it.

sunrise, sunset

watching the divine miss q tonite - i found myself thinking about the lyrics to sunrise, sunset from fiddler on the roof. we were playing in the living room and when i said " nite nite q" - she ran over to the corner and tried to hide behind the chair. it was incredible - where did my little baby go? i am now the mother of a toddler - who has the presence of mind to hide when i announce it is time for bed.  the mischievous grin on her face was enough to last me for a thousand years - i could only pick her up and smile.  my daughter remains the greatest blessing of my life - she reminds me what life is all about - i am so very lucky.

Sunrise, Sunset

Is this the little girl I carried?
Is this the little boy at play?

I don't remember growing older
When did they?

When did she get to be a beauty?
When did he get to be so tall?

Wasn't it yesterday
When they were small?

Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly flow the days
Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers
Blossoming even as we gaze

Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly fly the years
One season following another
Laden with happiness and tears

What words of wisdom can I give them?
How can I help to ease their way?
Now they must learn from one another
Day by day

They look so natural together
Just like two newlyweds should be
Is there a canopy in store for me?

Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly flow the days
Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers
Blossoming even as we gaze

Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly fly the years
One season following another
Laden with happiness and tears

time to make the donuts

do you remember that commercial - i think it was a dunkin donuts commercial - where the baker would say in this dull voice " time to make the donuts' and it felt like it was ground hog day for him? well i definitely share his pain on monday mornings.  gearing up for the commute, the harried pace and the personalities is a struggle on mondays.  who knows why it is not a struggle tuesday-thursday. i think friday gets a pass because we know it is only 8 hours until the weekend - where we are the masters of our destiny. and then it is monday again and we are workin for the weekend . . . 

why blog?

in the blogosphere you read alot from people about why they blog - maybe they want to talk about their incredible papercrafting skills or their adoption journey or their infertility struggles.  this blog started when we were trying to conceive the divine miss q. once she was born - it felt like i had nothing to say. but i have realized over the past few months that blogging is so much more than papercrafting, adoption or infertility.  for me it is about connection with the people i love, the stories i wish i could tell over lunch or lemon drop martinis.  so i decided to relaunch the blog without a promise of what you can find here and instead a promise that whatever is happening for me - you will be a part of . . . kinda like an open invitation to be a voyager into the movie i call me. of course my husband - who i call DH - is all wound up again - afraid that i will reveal something that may harm his dreamed of security clearance.

shoes

these are my favorite shoes owned by the divine miss q. i think it only fair that the offspring of the the divine miss k be called the divine miss q. i bought these shoes when she was 3 months old - knowing that one day she would rock them - just like her mama used to rock her jimmy choos back in the day.  but interestingly enough - just like i wanted to save my jimmy choos for a special occasion - i want to save these too! which is hilarious - considering that post pregnancy my feet grew and my jimmy choos hurt my feet - like i bought them at payless and paid $19.99 BOGO.  q will have grown out of these shoes by the time i decide there have been enough "special events" such that she can wear these parisian bad boys to day care.  because i swear everything that she wears to day care comes home covered in tomato sauce and dirt.  so i am uber cautious about what she wears there.  FYI this post is really a test of my uploading picture abilities . . i think i passed.

103.6 . . . really?

daughter with 103.6 temperature means leave friend's wedding 30 minutes into ceremony.

watch listless toddler in rearview mirror as you drive home at break neck speed. 

call husband who is on 30 miles bike ride - 45 minute drive away - leave voicemail.  

undress toddler - snuggle up for a bit - put toddler in her bed. 

text husband temperature details. 

be happy that she will drink her "agua" from her sippy cup .  .  .

remind yourself that you are competent and can handle this.

realize that competency is not the issue when you feel helpless.

3 miles

i did 3 miles - 2 minute run - 2 minute walk.  average pace was 16.5 minutes.  i loved it - breaking a sweat - feeling proud of me for the courage to start and looking forward to the day when i can do a 10 minute mile. 

rome was not built in a day and this body did not turn into this mini-train wreck over night. so while i know that i have miles to go before i sleep - i am just glad that i have turned the switch on.

short term goal is to do this 3 x a week.  

long term goal is the gw parkway classic in april 2010.

"girly goal" is to look good in cousin's wedding pictures in may 2010.

gotta have health and "girly" goals to complete the total package.

the courage to start

tomorrow is a big day. 

i am trying out a program at the local running store to see if it fits my needs.  the coach told me to come and join the group run - before i committed to the 6 month program.

here is a description of the program:

Pacers Beginner and Re-Beginner (B&RB) training program is a specially designed regimen for women of all ages who have never run at all and for women who once ran consistantly but have not run for a while. Personalized coaching is provided in a supportive team environment with knowledgeable and committed coaches and motivating training partners who allow you to accomplish more than you could training on your own.

This comprehensive program for women, with groups from the Alexandria, Arlington and Fairfax store locations, is a a platform for setting reasonable goals, working hard to achieve those goals and having a lot of fun reaching them. Imagine crossing the finish line for the first time regardless of the race distance and experiencing a feeling of accomplishment unlike any other . . . . . 

gives you a kind of cool - triathlete wanna be feeling.  makes me think about all the "gear" in my near future.

it reminds me of the woman i once was before becoming a mom and losing my way a little bit.

i am realizing that this is more than just feeling fat, tired and forty-three. 

this is about the courage to start believing in me and caring about me again.  realizing that if i don't make me a priority - no one else will.  and  i am not mad at them for that - i am just realizing that i need to start taking responsibility for me again.

being a mom is the best thing i have ever done.  i kick myself daily that i did not get here sooner and praying that i can get here a time or two more.

but being a mom is hard.  i am third of three in my house - by choice.  everyone else's needs and schedules trump - because i allow it.  i feel guilty if i am not here when Q wakes up and i feel guilty if i am not here when she goes to bed.  i know this needs to change.

so tomorrow - when i leave the house at 5:40 to join the group run - they will all be asleep. when i get home 2 hours later - they will be in full swing and i will wonder what i missed.

i need to change that thought pattern and realize what i gained - by taking some time for me, by activating to improve my health and well being.  

not what did i miss - but what did i gain.

stay tuned.

ta dah . . .

here it is party people - the new blog - i am still playing around with adding gadgets and stuff - but you get the idea. i now have a blog that is rico suave - makes me want to think creatively about what to say . . . I LOVE IT!

Almost ready for the relaunch . . .

I am in the middle of a blog face lift - which will then position me for the "relaunch" of the divine miss k. working with the great team ( shout out to amy here) at designer blogs to add some estilo to my blog. i am a total remedial blogger - but it is getting there. watch for more changes . .